So I’ve been redundant for about a month now, and there are pretty slim pickings out there.

Yes, there are a fair few badly written adverts in the papers by desperate recruitment consultants, attempting to harvest CVs from all the people like me, dumping fully half of them in the bin before they even start to skim scan the rest, throwing the rest away because they are blurred by the substandard printer that their manager bought on the cheap in a ridiculous cost cutting measure in an effort to increase his now measley bonus packet.

Yes, even now, with nine years post graduate experience, I am having massive difficulties in finding a job. Any job at any level. I’ve seriously go to the point where I would do telly sales, selling anything from double glazing to caravan insurance. So far, of all the applications I have sent out, I have managed to get one interview. Its a 15k job, and promises to be damn hard work. Point of Sale, sharp end retail stuff. Fairly unskilled, and not massively exciting. Certainly not well paid.

I suppose I could be a vending operator, I could work in overseas property, I could event think about setting up my own highly illegal plastic surgery, weight loss or tattoo removal parlour, all of which would end up with me being taken away in short shrift, I would imagine.

What is so depressing about the whole thing is writing the same thing on every single application form for every single job. A single CV no longer suffices in this market. I must have filled in 50, 60, 70 application forms.

I guess it wouldnt be so bad if I knew they would be looked at, and that they weren’t just being filed in the bin shaped folder under the desk.

Maybe I have the answer. Its all positive discrimination.

From now on, I’m listing myself as a disabled racial minority lesbian with bad breath, 15 children and based in social housing. Watch me get a job.