I don’t like to share. Who actually does? And not sharing used to be fine before the age of everyone should share; it used to be normal. Certain companies are responsible, of course, for making the don’t-want-to-share thing a problem in our modern society. It is they who have made food for sharing, forgetting about us selfish people who would rather crawl in to a hole and die than share any of their most favourite precious thing!

Thankfully there is a product which is safe from sharing: the Double Decker chocolate bar. An inexperienced chocolate buyer could almost be forgiven for thinking that this wondrous bar was designed with the sole eater in mind, but alas this is not the case. I have it on good authority from an insider that it is purely a coincidental thing. And how lucky we all are for that!

Go on, I dare you, next time you have a chance, try and share a Double Decker with someone and see what happens. I’ll tell you what will happen, because it happened to me a while ago: 1) I walked in to my friend’s house with my D.D. in hand. 2) They saw my D.D. and said something along the lines of “Wow, haven’t had one of them in ages, can I have some?” I said “Yes, be my guest”. And so my friend’s wife took the bar and tried to break it in half and then came the magic–as the chocolate broke away from the nougat, the pieces fell on to the CREME CARPET and fell amongst the fibres. My friends then promptly freaked out, gave me the D.D. back in two pieces and there you have it, job done: it was all MINE AGAIN! So, next time you want to be sure that nobody nicks your chocolate, give it some careful consideration. That is, unless you really want to share–